Can You Spare a Square?


As I was doing my normal grocery shopping, I walked down the toilet paper isle, as toilet paper was on my list. My jaw could have hit the ground! There was not a single package, not one roll of toilet paper to be had. The shelves were bare. From Charmin to store brand, two-ply to one-ply, every single roll was gone.

The Coronavirus has caused people to panic and turn to hoarding. From hand sanitzer, any form of rubbing alcohol, cleaning supplies, masks, water, and yes, even toilet paper. Oh my!

Leaving the empty isle, the Seinfeld episode “The Stall” came to mind. In that classic episode, Elaine is in a public restroom stall and she realizes a little too late that there is no toilet paper in her stall. She asks the woman in the next stall if she could hand her some toilet paper. The woman says no and that she “can’t spare a square”. Elaine begs the woman but she won’t budge. Later, Elaine finds out that this woman is Jerry’s new girlfriend. Payback is sweet and Elaine finds her chance. Just before Jerry’s girlfriend enters the diner’s restroom, Elaine goes in and steals all the toilet paper and then refuses her even a square. This is exactly how I felt leaving the grocery store…like no one could spare a square.

Poor Elaine! (Photo from Seinfeld)

Venturing back out later, the second grocery store I tried had well stocked shelves of toilet paper. I grabbed my package and headed to the checkout. Happy shopping!

(Featured image sourced from Seinfeld.)